Wednesday, July 21, 2004

please ignore my heart

Somebody
by Veruca Salt
written by Martin L. Gore of Depeche Mode
from the album "For the Masses: Tribute to Depeche Mode," 1998 copyrightゥ1984 Grabbing Hands Music Ltd/EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who値l stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She値l get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She値l hear me out
And won稚 easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she値l often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

[Everytime we talk,
everytime we fight,
everytime we look at each other
I know we weren't blood brothers
In the begginning when I was noone
and now that I am
and all that you taught me
and more
you required me when I'm dead
you remind me that I'm wanted]

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who値l help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don稚 want to be tied
To anyone痴 strings
I知 carefully trying to steer clear of Those things
But when I知 asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I値l get away with it

[We come to each other,
We come...]

[We come to each other.
We come.]


A congratulations is in order. Best wishes to You-Know-Who-You-Are-I-hope:)

But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?

But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?

But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?

...the regurgitator of my memes. This site is the middle part, not necessarily center, in between beginnings and ends both happening somewhere else...

...thoughts. I report on things that interest me. But its not always reporting that happens in these pages. Sometimes I need to rant; thus the excessive use of expletives. It feels easier for me to YELL MY FUCKING HEAD OFF AT THE WORLD!!!! BEcause in reality I can't because I am afraid...

...an active participant in culture instead of merely being consumers. In other words if we ignore these things what has always happened (that is, our continued existence as the commodity in a market of eyeballs) will continue to happen. And we haven't even begun discussing wether its right or wrong...

...And I do seriously want to graduate get a job. I think.

I love my mom, at any rate. Though she kills me with her attempts to help me. Should I tell her of these thoughts? I don't think so. Its bad enough that she has a heart condition, its even worse when you think about...

There. Do you get it?

I don't write intellectually. I write expressively. I don't claim to be accurate, fair or thorough. I don't wanna get stuck on certain topics. Though I sometimes do. But not that often. I'd like to expand. I wanna write more poems. But I'll only upload them if they're good. I only rant about my life's hardships if it will rescue just a little bit of my sanity. I'm saner than I make myself out to be, though.

If I am an OS kernel, and I just had a kernel dump, I'd imagine that the text in this blog is what it would more or less look like.

   
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Please don't forget the December 26 2004 tragedy too soon...

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